News you won't see in controlled mainstream media.

this is crazy, it is literally driving me nuts. I've posted about it before, and several times thought I'd found the answer but it keeps coming back in full force!

My problem, in case you guys don't know, is that at the moment I'm feeling great! The best I have for ages, but apparently everyone else I come in contact with during my day does not think so. People avoid me, do not want to talk to me, avoid eye contact, become very uncomfortable around me, some people start to shake and get nervous and I can basically see that they don't want to be around me at all! This is becoming so consistant with pretty much everyone I come in contact with including my own family that it is leaving me totally isolated, I have lost all interest in social interaction, plus people are loosing interest in me, even becoming angry with me for some reason... Its like clockwork, I even sometimes find it amusing the way people react to me (I gotta try and find it amusing otherwise I might go crazy or something). Obviously this reaction indicates that what I am feeling at the moment (which is probably the most relaxed I have been for years, particularly in social situations) does not match my facial expression in some way. I must look angry/frightened/anxious to everyone or something. Some people have commented that I look angry when I actually feel content or even happy!

Even though I've really noticed this in the last few months, since my anxiety and depression have really dissapated, I think when i look back it has been happening most of my life. Times when I was really anxious or depressed people would react really well to me, other times they wouldn't. It seems that there is no relation between how I feel and my facial expression, I just can't control it!

Its important to note also that I use to suffer from bad skin problems like acne and blotchy skin but this is pretty much gone and my skin is the best it has looked in ages. Orginally I thought my skin was the cause but now i kno its not.. My eyes and face do look swollen from time to time but I just don't know whether this is what is causing people's reactions to me..

I dunno whether its mercury or not, the other day I took 1 gram of alpha lipoic acid in one day and didn't really notice much change in symptoms. This can't be right if I still have mercury!! I've also attempted to agressively chelate using cilantro, not much effect either... also taking chlorella aswell see if it helps. What is going on with me??

Anyone else experience this? I saw a docter about it a while back and she simply said that I have social anxiety and wants to put me on anti-depressants.. i thought greeeaat another docter who doesn't believe me and thinks that its all in my head. I am tempted to try something like xanax, mayb that will make me more relaxed looking, but had a bad experience with antidepressants in the past, so a bit scared to try other things.

This is something I have to sought out and I'm feeling that you people are the only ones who understand, and are willing to listen and help. I am going to see another practitioner in a few days, who is both a docter and naturopath, but if she starts pushing antidepressants on me then I won't kno what to do..

Hi Joey, it's very hard to suggest or comment about this. As there does not seem to be any one real solution or cause to this. It could be anything and it could be toxin related, or it could be a general way your face can sometimes go, or a combination.

It seems very sad though that people react ot you that way, especially your own family.

It's beyond me what is causing it. and it seems , regardless of how you feel, good or bad, it can happen no matter what.

You cannot control this and it's not your fault at at all. If I knew the answers, I would give them in an instant, but I will say some prayers about this because I can tell it's causing you a lot of inner pain.

In the meantime, I hope you can find some health practioner, who might shine some light on this and maybe they'veheard of it before. You could have some condition that you are not aware of that does actually cause an affect on the facial features, or a type of paralysis look about them, something you not aware of, but those around you can see and are perceiving you in a manner that is undeserving to how you really are and feel inside.

You've cleared your skin up, that's gone. You've improved a lot inside, though you have your moments of feeling bad again, mainly you seem more like you're having some far better feelings inside. What is left? Well, whatever may still be left behidn as a residue symptom of what you may have had your whole life. Could still be mercury, but you may notice NO symptoms because it could be in areas that are affecting facial nerves. Hard to say, it oculd be a natural way your face tends to fall and gives an expression that is not really "you".

Certainly, you have a cross to bear with this and I don't mean that to sound "glib" or "holier than thou", but many people now are sufferings a lot and often from thigns they are strugglign to find solutions to and can't understand why it continues to haunt them. Not saying this is what it is, but I hope that you will not completely rely on human solutions to this and wind up distressed and desperate if they fail to eventuate and feel even more isolated and desperate.

It's not fair what you're going through, wish it woudl go, but at leastyou are trying to do something about it. But if you can't? then you can't. And if people are going to be hard on you over this, then you have a duty to be your own best friend, because at least YOU know this is not really you and I don't know what more you can do.

You have done so much to try and heal yourself and made such efforts. Your diet, detoxing, chelating etc. And I know you only want to be able to be out there and enjoy your youth like you have a right to, but this is obviously massively interferrng with your life and self confidence to an extreme, becuase we tend to perceive ourselves how others around us treat us, which is normal.

But I can tell you now, you are not perceived badly on this forum and though I know we cannot see your facial expressions, i would hope that I and others here would not allow them (if they were doing their thing) to put us off.

I know I've not been of any help here, but keep going and keep trying, but don't let this drive you aroudn the bend or push you over the edge. You owe it to yourself to be understanding to yourself, others haven't been! If I find out anything about this, I will let you know.

otherwise I will say a prayer and even if you don't believe, that's ok, but I hope you don't mind if I do.

If even your family are reacting towards you, how about asking the ones you hold near and dear? Hopefully they will give you an honest answer as to what is going on.

When we are depressed and have anxiety we usually don't talk much and tend to be anti-social. In my situation I've noticed when I feel confident and relaxed my personality finally shines through. In my case though, I tend to be outspoken and direct which does not go down to well with many other personalities I surround myself with. So they actually prefer me when I have anxiety and I seem quiet, mellow and actually calm, but this is just me not having the confidence or energy to speak up for myself of engage in conversation. The talkative, passive-agressive me they don't always like.........Also, the anxiety me has a face and body language which looks humble meaning people definitely don't feel threatened by me and during anxiety times I always get lots of strangers talking to me. Ironically this is the time where I really don't want anyone talking to me. This stops immediately during low anxiety and confident times. Then I get this stuck up, unapproachable face many, many other girls have too <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> No stranger ever approaches me then.

Does this kind of make sense? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't think that's something anyone can givae an answer to.
It's directly in the spirits given off.
think about it why do some people attract any,and everyone to them without even trying,while others no matter what they do can never get an ounce of attention from anyone.
My suggestion is to stop drinking and seek some spiritual guidance (just my opinion),just spend more time with yourself and rebuild you self esteem,and i think it will all come together.
How you view the world from the inside is not how how it views you from the outside looking in.
It may seem rather deep but it makes plenty sense.

you guys are all right, and I thank you for your responses. Bex, thanks for being honest, I don't really expect any of you to give me answers, I guess I post here more to just vent my frustration, as this problem has made me so isolated and I just have to tell someone. With the severe anxiety and depression I have had over the years I have always been very alone and isolated, but at least then i had the hope that one day I would be better and above all would be able to be relaxed and social with anyone I wanted to. Well now I percieve myself as better in so many ways, mentally and physically, but since I am still not being socially accepted, even by my own family, my hopes are quickly shattering.

The fact is I have told my mum about it. She only gets angry at me and says that I need to get over my health and get on with my life. How can i when my health is what is stopping me from doing so? I also asked her about my appearance and what is was that made me seem angry/anxious. She just denied my observations of people treating me differently and said that i have always been an anxious person, and need to see a phsyc about it.

Typical docter responses are that I'm depressed and need to go on anti-depressants. My own sister who has just become a doctor feels the same way. I don't want to tho as I know that they will not help me in the long run and may actually do me damage. I've not come this far with my health just to resort to anti-depressants either. These heavy-metal problems, candida problems and any others of which conventional docters do not believe in and of which have given me so much mental and physical suffrage, are real and I cannot let any doctor convince me other wise. The plus side of doctor however is that they do not cost much at all, alternative treatments however do cost, a lot! Money of which I do not have, and cannot afford to be spendning large amounts, particularly on treatments that are not helping me. I have had plenty of experience with this, naturopaths that I have seen ultimately just take my money by pushing their products onto me without actually listening to me and caring about my problems. One of these naturopaths I saw may have helped me a bit but most of her expensive products I bought from her did none of the things she said they would, and I have made ten times more progress trying to solve my health problems by myself than I ever did with her.

Strength yea i have stopped drinking, as this only exacerbates all problems, apparently makes this facial tension problem immediately worse also, I don't know how or why.. My problem is not just that I don't attract people either, its that everyone now goes out of their way to avoid me in every aspect, both people I know and total strangers.

Thanks tho guys, I'm going to get these tests done by a new practitioner I am seeing, which include a blood histamine test, hair mineral analysis, pyroluric test and mayb some others. All of which I have not had before.. They are expensive but i think they will be worth it in the long run..

Just hang in ther man.
If only you knew how many of us would give the world to be where you are,you feel good,that's the bottom line,i think everything will eventually come together,your face is probably used to showing tense,anxious expression,so naturally you probably look that way the majority of the time.
Just be thankful that you are on the road to good health,and worry not about what others think,just be at peace with yourself and everyone will attract to you like a magnet.
Just a little humor,The way people are nowadays,i don't know why you want to be flocked by them anyway LOL.
It's just funny,because i go out of my way to avvoid people.and see now you are feeling good and want to be around them,that should tell you alot.

Hi Joey, no problem, glad that you feel you can vent, just like the rest of us can and do. You have to be able to do it somewhere, without someone shoving a presription for antidepressants in your face as soon as you dare mention anything like this.

I think it is sad that your family really isn't being over sympathetic about this at all and basically acting like the rest towards you, until of course you have a more natural facial moment and they respond accordingly. Some people can seriously be about as deep as thimbles. And cannot see further than what they see and sadly, if you have an unfortunate facial expression that is happening without you being able to help it, then of course, being shallow, they won't see beyond that or why it might be happening, or the fact you yourself are 'fine", they'll just look no further. No offense to your family and I would hope they're not like this, but in my experience, there are quite a few one dimentional people around.

This is very awful for you I know. Being young, it just makes it even more painful. The very time in your life you want to be free and break away from the years of suffering, and just when you feel ok on the inside, the other weird thing continues.

It could well be the very last thing your body is interested in healing because the inside comes first. problem is, you can feel well and still have mercury in areas that could well be doing this and you thinking it's "you".

It's advisable to chelate and contine doing so for years, not months. This helps eliminate the other mercury that you are not noticing or feeling. It can be anywhere and I advise you to keep it up and keep doing it safely.

Other than this, I hope you know you can get on here and let us know how this is going for you even if it's continually awful.

And as strength said, the people around today? heck, I've never known such strangeness or coldness from people and I have no idea why or what's going on. This is why I keep myself to myself now. But I do remember, when I did go out a lot more in my late teens/early twneties, I had a way of putting my face that ruined most of my evenings, nightclubbing etc, all because I apparently looked depressed, moody or standoffish and this repelled people. My friends got guys coming up to them all the time, i was like some fart standing there in the middle like either not existing or seriously putting people off without even uttering a word. And I looked no uglier than the next person, so I really felt worse the more I tried to go out, the worse it got. And I remember someone told me I looked that way and I thought "i'm really going to make an effort not to", but it didn't work. I tried, but I probably had the look of some desperately intense person trying to smile. I just had to accept it. I look unwell too, so that doesn't exactly help.

. I do believe this definitely did have something to do with the mercury, as my face alters a lot, expressions and the general way I look which doesn't seem to make sense, but people with this toxicity may know what I'm talking about. I can look different from one day to the next, younger with a different look tomy features, or other times older and haggard and my eyes change also. The whole thing is distressing, but I can't do much about it. Mercury don't forget is changeable and it does definitely reflect on your face and can do some amazing things to a person's looks.

So Joey, in a sense you're not alone, but you maybe experiencing this more intensely than others, but I do have an idea of it believe me. I've heard of this before in mercury, they call it the mask type face, almost a look of no animation, an odd kind of blankness or the other, where you can give off a look of being either overly intense, or basically bored. All of these things can give people around you the totally WRONG impression.

So, it's not much help I know, but you have to keep going and not give up. It's a trial I know, but I'm glad at least ONE area is improving (your internals), but will the externals follow suit? Maybe if/when enough of the mercury is finally gone that area too will even out.

For now? If this is how people are goign to respond? Then you have to keep faith in yourself and if you cannot find understanding or support anywhere, then get on here where you WILL find it. And it is painful when you look to yoru own family and find the same type of judgements, this is all too common believe me. They can be the worst of the lot! Though for me? I am very lucky, both of my parents have ended up being my best friends! but if they hadn't? I hate to think what would have occured with me, I had no other outlet (other than God, but I felt God wasn't listening to me). But I know deep down He was.

anyway, i'm going on and on. Catch you later.

Hi Joey,
I was just reading about magnesium deficiency and one of the symptoms includes unusual face and eye movements. I thought of you and thought I'd let you know. Might be worth looking up. It was on www.ithyroid.com and under magnesium. Hope things are going better for you.
Best wishes
Lucy

hey guys, thanks bex, strength and lucie. Its so refreshing to find people who know what your going through and can give you support. Bex, you really put thought into your posts and I really apreciate that, you geniuinely care about others and I think thats great! You're pretty much right in everything you say, yes this particularly sucks because I am young, mainly because going by facial value is so important at my age. Strength, you are right people here are a lot worse off then me, but right now I am sort of starting to wish I still showed some strong symptoms so that I knew that this problem was related to heavy metals or something else which I could identify. O and lLucie, I already take a lot of magnesium, but thanks anyway.

Just to update, the problem is still there and doesn't seem to be giving way, despite some diet changes, exercise, lifestyle changes, use of natural therapies etc. The craziest thing is that I just can't find the cause of this. I look in the mirror and see a fairly normal looking person. Nothing that warrants this reaction people have to me. Today for example I worked in a customer service situation, which I pretty much do every saturday. Let me tell you, these are the days that hit me the hardest in regards to this problem. Every single customer I get has the same reaction, and i go through hundreds. They are very uncomfortable, don't want to look at me, some get angry at me, a lot of them shake and get really nervous. All the while I'm feeling relaxed, try to be polite and try to be nice, create conversation, but everyone avoids me.. Its just crazy. It makes this job very hard for me, but more importantly makes my life very hard also. And there is no one who can convince me now that this is either in my head or that I'm still really anxious or stressed and people are just reacting to this, or even that people are generally rude, and its them not me, not everyone is rude!

Lately because my concentration and mood have stabilized somewhat, (except for being depressed about this problem), I have had time to reflect and gather everything I can possibly think of relating to this problem. When i look back this has been happening all my life, particularly through teenage years I think. The way people have treated me just seems so inconsistant, not just my family, everyone! There have been rare times when I have been treated like a normal person, and these were probably some of the best times in my life! These times were the most productive times, and things would start turning around in my favour. However they were always short lived, and I'd always end up socially isolated for long periods in between the good times. Also I was thinking about when I took noni juice for a period of time. It was like magic, the problem went away for a period, people were amazingly nice to me, a very new experience for me. But I don't think this lasted very long.. I might give noni another go...

I really hope this is only a physcial symptom of a toxicity or disorder I am still suffering and not something that will be with me for the rest of my life, and that with further nutritional healing, exercise and supplements i will be able to overcome this.

Maybe selenium supplement (or some dietary equivalent from herbal sources) is resulting in body odor (e.g. you know how asparagus gives funny smell to urine). Sulphury foods can also produce strange skin and sweat odors. It could be also some pheromone which may not even have any consciously perceptible smell, while still affecting those around. Drastically changing body chemistry can cause effects of that kind.

My mother was a medical doctor and she mentioned many times she could smell a person with cancer after a brief moment of being in the same room. She said it never failed her. In few cases in which the initial tests have returned negative result, she would persist with tests and followups and it would invariably turn out that her smell hunch was correct. Yet the smell was so subtle, she couldn't describe it or find any analogue.

Joey

I have been thinking that there is something about me that in times provoke a reaction from other people. But these last couple of days, thanks to reading your posts about your situation, I've been thinking and observing people, strangers and friends/family. I have noticed that most of them are actually very stressed out, nervous and tired themselves. I blame a lot of my same situation on my ill health caused by metals and candida, but the truth is I would probably still be striving mentally like healthy people if I didn't have the ill health to focus on. Then my life would be filled with lots of activities, job opportunities and........STRESS. I have noticed it takes just a second for many people to become very angry and resentful......including towards strangers if they meet the slightest bit of problem. I have also worked in a customer service kind of job, and the only people who ever were friendly and non-stressed/hostile were the elderly. They had all the time in the world and frequently wanted to chat and were genuinly interested in what I had to say. Others, especially anyone who had children (they seemed the most stressed), would blow up for a minor detail making me speechless each time it happened. I could barely work because of low energy, so close relationships (children, boyfriends, close friends and activities were out of the question. This also meant I was leading a fairly uncomplicated life....apart from my health issue).

I think the worlds demands on people today are making them nervous, stressed, low-confidence and insecure about themselves and everyone around. I feel I AM the one who have every reason for this due to my ill health, but I forget how stressful normal living can be. So now I am really not taking everyones' reaction to heart anymore. It is they themselves who are so stressed that they get nervous/angry/insecure for the slightest thing. At times when my brain-fog is gone I see how miserable people seem and how they often complain. Because the world has been centred around me and my health for so long, I think that the world is doing fine and feel let down when on good days I see clearly this is not the case. Demands have gotten tougher during the last few years, which I haven't been mentally a part of because of my ill health. When I feel good, it is frightening to see how aggressive and cold my surroundings have become. When I have brain-fog, I don't see that people are treating me in the exact same manner and that they are just as stressed out. With brain-fog I haven't even got the ability to take their reactions to heart, because my brain hasn't registrered their reactions.

So what I want to say to you Joey, is that maybe it is the world which is stressed during your bad times and also in your now good times.

hey guys, thanks for posting. Believe me I have been through the whole thing of its not me its them idea that you just explained, but after all that I have experienced in the last few months since i have really been feeling better, I don't think that is possible. You see, the customer service job I work at is at the horse races, where people come to get drunk, have a good time, win some money, etc. I do observe people while I'm there, and they are happy and in their own groups and get excited about winning some money and so on. But when they are around me its like they become instantly serious, anxious or even angry sometimes, even when I'm smiling with them and trying to be nice to them, or making a joke with them, they still treat me weird. I watch the people I work with and how they interact with the customers and they do the same as me, but recieve a much better response, and the customers love talking to them, even giv them tips. Its not that I get jealous or anything, I don't really care how customers treat me, however this response I get is reflected on pretty much all aspects of my social life, and everyone treats me this same way. I particularly notice it with my friends and people I was close with once, they have been treating me really weird, without any respect at all, and I have noticed that they want to be around me less and less.

So I have virtually built up a hard body of evidence to plead my case that its definely something I'm doing, but of which I do not know what! And the best response I have got from people when asking them what it is, are that "I look angry" or "I look anxious". I certainly don't feel these emotions when I display them...

Hi Joey, I genuinely do think you are experiencing this and with your obvious common sense and personality, you'd have no problems figuring out if it was just people having a bad day or something else.

No there is more to it. But certainly, it's not something to my mind that will give a logical explanation.

Because you can rule out deformity, you don't have one and if you did, that at least would give some reason for "some" people's reactions, but even then, people are kind enough to those with deformities to treat them like everybody else. You're not even getting that!

So it's not your looks.

It cannot be anything you've done, strangers are behaving the same way, they don't know you, so you certainly don't have them holding some weird grudge about anything.

It can't be personality, you come across just fine and also, in your job, you're simply doing your job like everybody else and trying to be pleasant at the sametime. So what is warranting their reactions?

If it's facial expression, I find that a bit hard to believe that they'd respond that badly regardless. And if it is, how would you hold such a bad expression on your face the entire time, and all the while being nice and pleasant and chatty???? Eveb if you did look anxious, I've met people who looked bored, anxious, annoyed and I don't respond badly to them, I just recognise they're not in a good mood, but I don't act like that around them. I just try and be pleasant to them if I can and let them be.

So what is left? I don't think it's anything visible, I wonder if it's something people pick up or sense around you and they can't seem to help their reactions. Either they ignore you, or they get nervous around you, or angry. People, if they feel uncomfortable around someone will respond in either of those ways. Some get mad because they do not like how you're making them feel, yet they won't be able to give a reason why.

It isn't "you", I think there is a lot more to this. You sound like you've got some (and I am not into this normally AT ALL), bad energy around you that isn't anything to do with you as a person. I don't know if you've been involved in anything, occult dabbling or whatever, even a little of it, because weird stuff can happen from doing it and cling onto you like a limpid.

I am not into any of that stuff normally, but dabbled in the past sometimes (as many people do) and I have had continual odd problems since, things that make no sense that just never seem to really subside or have answers to.

And you will feel like you have just found a solution, but you find it never lasts and then you go onto the next one and so it goes on. It's kind of like being toyed with. And you get to a point where you cling to what you think is "finally working" and it's not long before that too falls apart.

I guess I've gone right off the beaten track here, but I just think this is beyond logical what you're getting. It's like the frigging twilight zone.

If you were a hidden serial killer, I might think "well maybe they're picking up something evil in you and they don't know what it is".

so the more you rule out, the weirder it gets. If you eliminate possible causes, it just gets stupid. I think you're fighting something that hasn't really got anything to do with you as a person. I still reckon something is up. I think without that, people would respond to you very favourably. And you've already experienced that when they do. It's just sad that you're somehow being taunted by an occurance you seem to have no control over at all.

hey bex, thanx heaps again for posting, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with that last post. I have seriously become so desperate with this problem that I'm starting to think it is something "twilight zoney" and that mayb I have some curse or negetive energy around me. But then my rational thinking steps in and says "don't be silly". I even took off a ring I have been wearing for a while to see if this would "lift the curse" lol. No seriously tho this is what it is feeling like, something like a curse..

I must admit though at the moment I am very depressed and find it hard mustering motivation to do anything, including getting out of bed. I have started thinking lately that maybe I do need to go on an antidepressant, see if this does anything for me, since all my other alternative treatments at the moment seem to be failing me. Also if I go with conventional medicine I have much more support, as it doesn't cost me anything for the appointments with the docter and the medicine and I also have the support of my family and my sister who is a conventional docter. So mayb it will pay to try this for a bit, and if it doesn't work or the side-effects are too severe or whatever I can put a stop to it, and then my family will know that I tryed it and it didn't work and may develop a better attitude to me trying the alternative treatments

I did take an antidepressant once, remeron, and it helped in some aspects: I slept better, I gained some weight which is actually good for me since I am skinny, and it did help depression and socialness somewhat. Some aspects were bad tho, it made me exausted for a couple of days when starting to take it, I became a bit zombie like, also it gave me really wacky and scarey dreams, some of the most intense I have ever had. Also I think I had some withdrawal but can't really remember; electric shock like feelings which were so very scarey. But the time I was taking this drug was probably the most unhealthy time in my life, and my toxicity levels were through the roof. So I may have a better response now that I'm physcially more healthy. Who knows, but I think I should give it a try.

I'm also still waiting for hair mineral analysis to come back, this may shed some light on my situation. Anyway Bex, I think I talk about myself enough, how are you going anyway lol..

Hi, you have to wonder whether it's either some weird curse or it's something disturbing your biochemistry or something and it may be something you were born with, or to do with the toxicity or something. No wonder you took the ring off, i'd have done the same thing.

You could just never stop asking questions, because it's so incredibly weird.

But if the antidepressant you try does happen to alter anything that helps in this area, maybe that might be a good thing. But it's not fair that you should have to live your life around attempting to alter something just so people respond better to you, when you've made so many efforts and improved your health already.

Anyway, doesn't do any good I guess, whatever it is, you're stuck suffering it for now and I just hope you keep going and don't give up in despair and that somewhere somehow they'll be answers at some point.

As for me? I'm doing badly. I seem to only briefly get some improvements and then they disappear again and it's not something I'm able to hang onto, or figure out why things continue to go wrong.

Seems like some of us are really getting some very difficult stuff to deal with and much of it doesn't seem to make sense or have answers. The way I see life is very dark, and I know it's the toxicity, but it's very difficult to attempt to see it any other way with this inside my head. Only occassionaly does it lift a little and then I'm able to kind of think "oh ok, life actually isn't all that bad...", but the horror is when it returns and that's it, I'm gone.

Thanks for asking though. I've had this for most of my young adult life and I actually have become so accustomed to not living a normal life, I have no idea what it's like. people think I'm weird because I'm not married with kids and I think some of them think I'm gay lol.

lol, I know exactly what your talking about with the relationship thing. I haven't been in a relationship for about 2 years now, and even then I have never in all my life been really serious with anyone. I'm not boasting or anything, but in the past girls have told me I am pretty good looking, and people have found it strange that I continue to be single, some even thinking I'm gay just like you said lol.

The truth is there is just no real motivation for me to have a relationship really, which has been the same in all my life so far. I mean its nice to have someone, but when I do I'm still not happy, and all my mental issues have tended to magnify, and you end up being a liability to the other person anyway.

Its funny tho, as soon as your depression lifts and your outlook becomes more positive (which has happened several times so far in my life only to come crashing down again) all you can think about is the good things in life like finding partners and meeting people socially. Mayb I've been in a deep depression for so long now that its totally oblivious to me that I am still very depressed, and I've mistakenly accepted this to simply be my personality.

Anyway I really do think I need an antidepressant, and just see how thats goes, it might even flick the switch off in my brain that is causing this problem, that would be fantastic..

By the way, are you feeling bad in relation to mercury symptoms? Do you think you are still very toxic? If so do you juice vegetables at all. You might already, but I found that juicing carrots and beetroot helped my mercury symptoms a lot, who knows why...

Ahh, what are you worried about? I haven't been in one for 12 YEARS. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />so add ten onto yours and then you'll really know you've got issues.

But yes, that is exactly how I feel. The moments of feeling good, you suddenly feel "up for it" and because they are only momentary, you cannot even trust yourself because then it's back to how it was again and sadly I wouldn't feel right with someone anyway. I'm too used to being this way and would be fearful to be with anybody. Also, I'd feel sick that they'd find out what I was really like.

so I compeltely know what you're feeling.

Yes to have the moments of feeling better, everything seems suddenly magical, but that's when I think 'will it last"? and I go to start thinking can I start living again? but as you said, it comes crashing down. So one doesn't really get the chance.

Yeah, the mercury symptoms are part of what i have, but I think there are other issues also. Candida, possible jawbone infections, gum disease. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> it just gets better all the time.

But seriously, I have GOT to get things sorted out. But it's very very difficult to find the right dentist, get the right materials pu in my teeth and find a dentist that does cavitation surgery (I haven't come across ONE that can do it all yet).

So I'm fed up. I haven't done juicing yet. I was doing better at one point, but have mucked myself up by cheating on my diet and smoking a packet of cigarettes, so my own fault.

I've been on antidepressants before, but all I got was weird side effects. I honestly think that many of us are so chemically mucked up, that we don't know whether we're coming or going. Anything can set me off, so I have to be vigilant on everything. I cannot even live a little and cheat or smoke sometimes, I just end up a vegetable.

Joey, I see/understand. It's real hard to hide it when you are depressed, especially when it's a long term thing.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you feel and find happiness in the future.

Take care <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Im sorry for bringing this old post back but but I have to just say that your all not alone.
I have had that exact same problem and I kept telling myself its probably not
me and its not a big thing but it really messes with you and can really
corrupt your life. My mum used to say get over your health you need to keep busy and work more. I said it doesnt work because when im working i used to get more anxious because of my moods. And I even got to a stage where I was ill at home and not enjoying anything.
I used to be really anxious and so bad that I would not enjoy myself at all but my mates where saying that we all had the best nights back then when I was in teh worst possible state.
I worried so much about why doctors arent doing anything and why things arent helping and validity of tests and what I could be doing.

I was put on Anti-depressants and I started feeling a bit like a zombie and seemed more calmer or the internal restless settled but everyone kept telling me are you ok? I was like what? I think it was because I felt so ill before that I made an effort to smile and now I dont need too? THIS DROVE ME INSANE AND I STARTED GETTING PANIC ATTACKS WHENEVER I HAD TO SEE MATES.
I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I have been told I am a young, very good looking lad and very nice an caring yet I am social anxious and get panic attacks. I dont know if my friends know about it but I tried pretty much every herbal meds out their and detox programs online only to become even worse. I was constantly in a state of panic for no reason. I was ashamed and nothing helped. I thought I really messed my life up now taking too much stuff messing with my biochemical make up?

Even reading people getting over it I always had doubt. I tried pretty much every method of nutrition and wanted to live a normal life. Why cant I go out drinking without worrying if its going to make me more ill. Others go out and have a good time.
I even tryed dating a girl but I felt so ill the whole time. I couldnt
concentrate on what was going on I couldnt relax. I even tried hypnotherapy and that made me worse when they said you should feel calm. (I DIDNT).
Im so sorry to vent all this here but I want you to understand how mental I thought I was. I also tried this special high Fish oil supplements. Over 2000mls EPA and 2000mls EPO. This slightly helped but I would get crashes and developed new symptoms and worried about tolerances and long term side effects.
I had social anxiety, General anxiety, Panic Attacks, and pretty much every weird symptom that I could not get releif from.
I thought I had no chance of ever getting in a relationship. Antidepressants
make me numb and feel guilty on them for no reason and wouldnt be able to commit to a relationship....I pretty much had no hope.
But after understanding alot more I have become much better. Im not %100 and I still feel like crap at times but I am alot better.
Im sure both of you can get out of this and get over it too. Nothing is impossible.
Im sure you might even find a partner who has the same problem or might even suffer it and you could even help them as you could say I have been through it etc. Or teach them ho to cope.

I feel so much better knowing that others are out their who suffered like me and I can freely express how I felt and many people will understand.
Im am currently taking a herbal antidepressant (Rhodiola) which helps but dont want any meds. I have plans to remove my fillings as well.

I just hope you have recovered or feeling much better than you wore since this post was created quite a while ago.

hi joe, jus happened to chek this old thread. Thats great you are doing better, but also its great to know that other people know what we're going through. I still suffer from this and it is really affecting my life still. The bottom line is that it sucks.

But I am not letting it get to me anymore. I have starting doing things that are making me feel better. I am practicing deep relaxation twice a day which is helping, and there is evidence that this helps to eliminate strored stress in your hypothalamus, which i think is very important for me. Other than that I am taking supplements. DMAE increases my motivation and takes my mind of the negetive thoughts so I can keep concentrated on what I am doing. I am taking b vitamins because I think i am very deficient. Also starting GABA, just plain GABA, to c whether this helps. Many people say it helps them when taken with other sups like b vitamins and EFA's. I think the acetylcholine/gaba combo is what I need, other antidepressants that raise serotonin, noradrenalin, dopamine just make me feel weird and crazy. Taking DMAE for 2 weeks now has actually made me feel more normal!

I think people like me and you really need more GABA. We need to stay focused and relaxed. I took picamilon a while ago, which raises GABA, and its really helped but only for a short period until I built tolerance. So this was a clue for me.

As for heavy metals it has been confirmed that I have copper overload and take zinc for that. My hair analysis suggests that that is the only metal I have trouble with now, which does make sense as zinc keeps me feeling ok. Hows your heavy metal situation?

It was weird, the best time of my life socially was probably when I was at the peak of toxicity: when i felt the most symptoms and had an etreme diziness/brainfog that was constant. Anyway thats all from me..

im glad your doing better. I have done loads of research as well and was looking into Picamilon and heard it was really good combination of Gaba and Niacinimide. But then I heard you get tolerant to it so though tit might not be worth it.

Their is loads of stuff to try but I hate having to do it yourself as you just cause more stress trying to figure out whats working, what side effects etc.

Im taking rhodiola and after a few weeks it really helps. Its weird because I thought this herb was meant to be a stimulant which I wthought would worsen my anxiety but it helped it?

I heard Rhodiola affects all major neurotransmitters and other info on it says it increases Serotonin, Noradrenaline and Dopamime.

And I found Valerian, Kalm tablets to make the problem worse or didnt help at all.

I see a link with depression actually causing anxiety from lack of neurotransmitters. And another anxiety from too much transmitters(Jitteryness). And I have been trying to work the connection between them all as well.

I looked into DMAE and thats god for concentration and brain fog because of the acetycholine. I looked in DHEA as well since this can help balance cortisol levels which cause stress and helps deal with stress tolerance but been warned not to mess with hormonal type vitamins.

I know what you mean about dopamime. I think we just need to find the right balance. I heard their are places that do urine analysis of neurotransmitters but dont know the validity of it.
www.neurogistics.com and apparently their is one not for from where I am in London called Biolab I think.

I know where your comming from. I was at work last night (Bar work) and felt in such a bad mood. I was in a fog and yet everyone was so friendly lol. Friends and customers all comming up and hugging me and asking me to come out after work and chatting. I felt ok but still insecure at times due to tremors and other problems.

And times when I feel really good I dont know if people think im cocky or pissed off. I really dont know lol but im trying to not let it bother me.


Im still waiting to get my fillings out. (You may have had copper amalgams hence your copper overload).

But hopefully we will be able to find the asnwers which help us and be able to get over this.

I apologise for all the mistakes lol. I never re-read what I type and try to send messages as fast as possible because my laptop seems to always reset for no reason. (Mainly when typing a long messsage). lol

hey Joe, well let me say over the past week or so I have had a major breakthrough, I'm talking major. This is the best I have felt ever I think! Don't want to jinx it but people are actually talking to me again and being nice to me.. loll, sounds weird huh but after a year long run of people ignoring me and being rude to me this is a vey exciting for me. Its as you say though in your last post, I still feel the same amount of anxiety or insecurity socially as I did before, but now its like people look at me normally and talk to me normally anyway, quite amazing.

I'm not quite sure what I owe this to though. But I expect that it could be one of these things; I have practising meditation twice a day for the last two weeks which I think has really helped, which I know sounds like a quack but its true. But to be honest I think its the supplements I have been taking: zinc, which has really helped me in so many ways, but more specifically DMAE and b vitamins. After starting these two I have felt and looked the best I have in ages, and this is what has really got people reacting to me normal again.

As you were saying the DMAE is good for concentration but for me it has dones so much more, I am more positive, more motivated, my thinking patterns have become more normal, I do not have nearly as many anxious thoughts, and focus more on what I am going to do next. Also I think I must have been severely deficient in b vitamins as I pretty much responded to them straight away. I had tried them before but they always made me feel fluey and sick. They didn't this time though...

I just hope this lasts! Keep you posted...

Thats so good man, I have been doing really well too.
I think its ok to feel this way and its not a bad thing at all. People can be very sympathetic as well. I used to be so anxious trying to hide my problem of being depressed and anxious lol. But I dont care about it anymore.

I will definitely look into DMAE. Where is the best place to get it or what brand do you use?

hope your success continues.

Regards
Joe

thanx mate! great to hear your success as well. I get the DMAE from here: http://www.smart-drugs.com/oly-wholesale.htm#DMAE

This source is real cheap, 5 bucks per bottle, and delivery is quick. Give it a go for sure, see if it does anything for you. Good luck...

joe jo jo, how much zinc do you take and how many times a day? Are you doing anything else to get rid of the copper problem?

Thanks <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

hey, I take some zinc with each main meal during the day, as outlined by andy cutler. This method has worked by far the best for my copper symptoms, as it consistently keeps the copper from being reabsorbed by the gut. Make sure you get a good zinc supplement, mine has 15mg of zinc citrate in each cap plus other important minerals for copper, especially chromium amino acid chelate (not chromium picolinate, this is bad for us) other important minerals in the supplement include molybdenum, magnesium, manganese and B6. Doing this religiously for about 2 weeks should lesson your symptoms dramatically, and great relief found within a month.

Also if you think you have high copper than you most liikely have low histamine levels, or histapenia like i do. The treatment for this is b vitamins, particularly folic acid, b3 and b12. I have found such great relief from b vitamins.

Other supps you can take are taurine which helps, magnesium calms you down, GABA, I have found this helps me a lot. ALso one other thing, this may sounds weird but I think the onlly way to release some of the stores of copper in your body, particularly those affecting the adrenals, is by deep relaxation every day. I have been doing this for 2 weeks now and expereinced copper symptoms to start off with when the stores were being released, now I feel great! But still doing it twice a day.

Good luck...

joe jo jo, thank you for replying, much appreciated <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Some supplementary information that may help...


"Dimethylaminoethanol is related to choline and is a biochemical precursor to the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, and found naturally in fishes like sardines and anchovies. It is reported to have nootropic effects, although research on this chemical has found both positive and negative potential results."

"It is believed that dimethylaminoethanol is methylated to produce choline in the brain. It is known that dimethylaminoethanol is processed by the liver into choline; however, the choline molecule is charged and cannot pass the blood-brain barrier."

Taken from Wikipedia: Dimethylethanolamine

Other helpful links:

GABA Plus

Zinc

well my good streak ended and people are being weird to me again, but I do have something to take out ot this. Last week I become physically sick for no apparent reason and had to call in sick to work. This has not happened to me in years, and I never get sick, get the flu or anything like that! My symptoms were that I felt a bit fluey with weak and really sore mucles, and had hot and cold flushes. I had to lie in bed all day as every time I got up I felt very ill. However while I was sick and the few days leading up to when I was sick my mental state was great, I was feeling normal again and my outlook was way more positive. Also I looked great, my skin/face/hair looked vibrant and healthy and happy. Also this whole problem of people being weird to me was basically non-existant during this time, my family, people at work and people in the public were generally treating me better than ever! Some girls at work for flirting with me for instance, and I wasn't really doing anything different, I felt the same level of anxiety as I usually do and everything else was the same. This all ended when I recovered from being sick though a few days later...

I was also thinking about it and realised that in my past this same thing has always happened. I always look my best when I am sick and people treat me so much better during this time. I think this is a major clue for me, and maybe my immune system has a large role in all this.. Also when I started taking b vitamins I felt and looked better and people started treating me better instantly after this, but a few days after starting the b vitamins I got the mysterious sickness. So since b vitamins raise histamine, mayb I do have low histamine after all? Hmmm...

Hi

Or maybe you have high homocysteine (poisoness biproduct of protein metabolism) levels? This acts as kind of a poison and ages you. Folic acid and B12 and to some degree B6 lower homocysteine effectively and you will look younger and more vibrant. I wish I could take the B vits to lower my homocysteine, as when this poison is lowered I don't look so "hard" and unapproachable, but I have high histamine. So while folic acid makes me look better, I get worse anxiety, shakiness, tearfulness from the high histamine. I look good, but feel like a wreck. Anyway, just a thought <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Lizzie

Hey man I am exactly the same!!! Its well weird.

I felt really ill for a week and had a massive headache and felt sore muscles, hot or cold flashes. And everyone seemed to really care and I even had girls flirting with me at work. I dont know if its a sympathetic approach or if I notice the signs more when I am sick or if it distracts me a bit off on how my mental/anxiety state is.

But yeah I know what your going through man.

I find B Vitamins at first helped my mood and energy...But I start getting more anxious or feel very unsably moody in situations. I dont know if its just me or the B Vitamins complex.

A good way to get B vitamins is to eat beef liver, or to take nutritional yeast (not brewer's yeast!!!). This will give you a definite stable and natural way of taking B complex and should be fine.

I think B complex taken in vitamin form can sometimes cause issues, as nothing is going to be exactly how you need it and may disrupt some ther vitamin in the process. So you might find having it in food form of either eating liver (or taking it in dessicated liver tablets instead of that is easier), or the nutritional yeast ...

wow Joe, you're right this IS weird. Can't believe you go through exactly the same thing.. this makes me interested to find out what other symptoms we got in common..

- Did you ever have bad skin problems like acne?
- Have you taken roaccutane?
- Are you sensitive to perfumes or chemicals like that?
- Were you hardly ever sick as a kid?
- Are you metal toxic, mercury, copper or other?
- Are your eyes real sensitive to light?
- What supplements have you found help you?

Just a few questions, won't bore you with any more. I really think the whole methylation issue is important, and I think my issues may be due to histamine imbalance, homocysteine excess or something. Feels like I'm on the verge of solving this case but at the same time still seems like I'm so far away..

yes I had acne but it wasnt really that bad or severe.
I was put on Roaccutane.(Also heard concerns about this)
I dont think I am sensitive to perfumes (Unless its a delayed reaction).
When I was younger I did have alot of infections and been on antibiotics alot.
I believe I have mercury and possibly copper toxicity. Since my zinc levels are low and have alot of amalgams. Im looking to see if i those histadine, pollyria ,homocysteine and other deficiencies such as fatty acids.

yeah I have a sensitivity to light but its not been as bad as it was when I first was ill.

Supplements wise its really a gamble...I dont know if it is really a placebo affect or not but Taking fish oils such as EPA and Evening primrose oil for a few monthes has helped.

Im looking into DMAE, Magnesium Taurate etc.

Iknow their is so much involved and I find doctors dont seem to care. I am wanting to do a nptech test as they do checks for homocysteine, Free T3, IgG, IgA , Cortisol, DHEA etc..
Sounds like its worth a try.

Its weird but im glad im not the only person going through this.

Ps have you tried colloidal minerals..Apparently my hypnotherapist said that its essential for our bodies and its easily absorbable in liquid and helps vitamin absorbation and to balance out toxicities. Im looking at ordering MAXIMOL and give it a go.

I plan on removing my fillings by hesham within the next month orso and hopefully see if this help.

Anyway all the best.

Did you know Roaccutane has caused people depression and anxiety. I know people killed themselves and its banned.

People have anxiety problems since taking it as it may mess with oil glands and fatty acids. It also corrupts thyroid and hormonal levels.

I took a stab with the roaccutane question but its very interesting that we both took it. For me it fixed my skin but but gave me a whole list of new health problems. Did you find that when you took antibiotics when younger that it temperarily fixed some of your problems, or made you worse? When I now look back I realise that this problem of people reacting to me weirdly has been going on most my life, and I can attribute some of the best times of my life socially to when I was on antibiotics.

I was on antibiotics all throughout senior year at high school and socially that was the best year of my life, several girlfriends, heaps of parties. I was still anxious and depressed during these times but I was very much accepted socially, maybe even becoming one of the most popular guys in school for a period of time. I always thought this was because my skin had in improved so much, it was clear and perfect basically, but now realise its not just thatas my skin is fairly clear now.

By the way I too have been taking eveing primrose oil and that has made a real difference for me, less depressed and anxious, and really seems to work great with the b vitamins, dmae and gaba.

The thing with antibiotics though is it can make candida really bad.

Yeah during my high school years and college I used to go to parties and I remember I was anxious and had concentration problems but it was manageable and didnt ruin mu social life. But now I feel its ruining everything or intereferes.

Is roaccutanne an antiobtic? I started doing some research and no one knows how exactly this drug works and they banned it in certain countries. I was on it when I was in Australia but its banned in the UK. Apparently their is a roaccutane message board with users complaing ofunexplained anxiety since taking Roaccutane.

Yes I was on antiobiotics for my infected root canal and I felt better. I had other symptoms like blocked ears and runny nose but the anxiety or depression didnt seem to bother me and I was a different person.

Its so confusing and it proabably sounds bullshit (Especially in themedical proffession).

maybe its a psychological trigger that we believe the antibiotics helped us? I really dont know. I start doing that alot with supplements I try. Its such a confusing problem and its so easy getting caught up in everything.

http://www.xsorbit1.com/users/davec...ntposts&username=patti%2Ds_lodes

http://www.xsorbit1.com/users/davec//index.cgi?board=Your_Experiance

http://www.xsorbit1.com/users/davec...&num=1150486501&start=60
This is the website I found. Apparently people dont suffer vit a Overdose until years later. They are saying retinoids change the gene expressions in us.

Apparently they use it in chemotherapy? I dont know how true this is though and I think they are obviously against roaccutanne.

Is this about Roaccutane. I wouldn't advise anyone to take it. I have a friend whose life has been turned over by it. It helped her acne, but she is a totally different person now. Can't work because she is in too much pain, can't lift things or type for long. Had a form of depression and body dysmorphia or however its spelt. Not much chance of a cure either, at least with mercury, research has been done, and there are ways to treat it and remove it.

Really, I have alot of symptoms based on the roaccutane.
I need to look into roaccutane further.

I was on it for 6 monthes I think. I had dry eyes, Dry skin, lips cracked, skin irritation and infection. I felt drunk on it lol and noticed thats when I started getting moody after taking it.

I had conecentration, dizzy problems before taking it though and it may be from my fillings, diet etc.

Inow have so many complications its annoying. Dull aches in legs and wrists. Tremors. concious about mood.

I am not simply going to believe that roaccutane "changes you forever" and that there's no hope for recovery. I too have done a lot of research on it and the long term effects it has but after while I stopped because looking at those forums with the people complaining and some of the long term side effects I found out about just became too depressing for me.

I think you can heal from the damage roaccutane does and I have, many of my symptoms since stopping roaccutane 3 years ago, have been resolved through diet, chelation, supplementation, and finding my underlying issues. I think one of the main things roaccutane does to you is stirs up all your underlying issues which were causing the severe acne in the first place, but at the same time it does do its thing to clear your skin. For me I think this was a mixture of leaky gut, candida, copper and mercury toxicity, pyroluria and roaccutane and antibiotics basically stirred up the pot.

Anyway I'm seeing a docter in 2 weeks about giving this Marshall Protocol a go. Joe you should check out the site www.marshallprotocol.com. I know some members on this forum have found great relief from the protocol, so I think it is especially applicable to people like us with chronic health issues.

Yeah I refuse to believe this as well. I dont want to go down their road of no hope...I always thought though maybe subconciously its worrying me.

Its always possible to get rid of any toxins from any drugs.

Thanks, will look into this marshal protocol and look forward to hearing how it goes. Do you go to an alternative doctor?

The only problem is I find it so difficult to follow or stay on protocols. Be good if I had support or someone else doing it lol..When trying to do a candida diet my family had pizza(which I ended up eating) Loads of ice cream and sweets in the house. Its weird though I find im better eating what I want and have been eating loadsof crap and drinking alot the last few weeks without worry about candida or causing more problems.

How did you find out if you had leaky gut? Im not sure if I have this but heard you dont absorb your nutrients or anything. Im considering doing a test for it.

I also found NPTECH to be quiet good. They do lots of testing for things such as Adrenals (Cortisol-DHEA). A really good blood panel that doctors overlook.

yea the candida diet is too hard as far as I'm concerned, and there must be easier ways to get over candida and there is. I never really stuck to the diet, only half-assed, and I don't think I really have any candida issues any more.

The docter I see is uses integrated medicine, he's is an md docter, but he uses a mix of conventional medicine and alternative medicines. This type of practice will be the way of the future I believe.

Anyway, definely read into the marshall protocol, its making a lot of sense to me. I think that many if not all of my symptoms are due to underlying immune system dysfunction or supression due to excess vitamin D and infestation of these cell-wall deficient bacteria. I know this is a mouthful but these are the issues resolved by the marshall protocol, ultimately in an effort to restore the immune system, and allow the body to heal completely, brain included!

I just realised Roaccutane is an antibiotic. You know I used to drink LOADS when on it and I was never told not too. I just realised now why I used to get so drunk quickly was probably because was taking this. I passed out once only having a few beers when on it.

My plan is to try and eat better and get my fillings out and then take it all from their. Im going to have to find a good alternative doc here as well.

Well Joey joe joe, feel free to email my friend about how her life has been affected by it. She is a practitioner herself, and having spoken to her lately, she doesn't see where a cure is coming from from roaccutane damage. She is thinking of trying a specific type of homeopathy which apparently can heal DNA damage. Her life is totally different from what it would have been had she not taken it.

I would also be interested in hearing her story. Wandering how long she was on it for or what dose...and what symptoms she got.

Is their any evidence Roaccutane can cause DNA or change genetic Expressions?

Joe i can pop you her email address in a PM. You will gain from speaking to her.

Thanks man.

http://www.max001.proboards42.com/index.cgi

Apparently Roaccutane is also a cancer drug? This is the site your friend gave me. She has very good information on it.

She has tried various things to repair the Roaccutane damage, some of which seemed to make her worse. She's going to a seminar in London in early June by a homeopath who could help by making remedies from the Roaccutane itself, turning them into energetic remedies (homeopathic), testing to see which organs, or bone marrow, DNA etc, have been affected by it, and using the remedies to target those areas, to rejuvenate and detoxify the organ. He does the same with mercury toxicity, candida, parasites etc. Very much in the know. I tried it myself, without success i have to say, but i've found out reasons since then why i may not have responded to it. There are practitioners of this therapy in England and Ireland now. The inventors website is www.yurkovsky.com

you have suffered a depression for quite some time now havnt you?

When did it start and how long have you had it for? And have you got any clues of what may have caused it or what has helped it?

Whatmade you understand why this didntworkfor you?

Sorry for all the questions but I want to see if I can help in anyway I can.

hey Joe and anyone reading this, quick tip, give oil pulling a go. In only 1 week of doing it every day with grapeseed oil, I have seen such a transition in my mental state, almost back to how i Was before roaccutane, and mayb better. Less depressed, better thinking, more "real" thinking. Its like I am seeing things for the first time also, I also have a lot of interest in things again. Doesn't seem to be helping the problem I've been talking about in this thread but the it is definately helping depression. This may be temperary so not getting my hopes up.

Give it a go, its easy!

Thanks man, Will do that once my fillings are out.(i noticed I had zaps when eating dorito's crisps so I think I need to get my amalgams outlol)

You know what. I had such a good night at work tonight. I was on glass collecting and felt in such a good mood chatting to customers and everyone was tipping me and just being proper nice.

EyeQ fish oil 4 in morning and 4 at night really does help me. I recommend trying this as well especially since you been on roaccutane your fatty acids are proabably lower then normal.

Anyway man im quite drunk atm just got back from work and we were allowed 5 free drinks(had doubles lol) cause it was busy.

All the best everyone!!!

You just described me perfectly except I have to 'fake' this timid attitude sometimes because I come across too direct and others veer away or feel I don't like them. But I like people a lot! I have a very low tolerance for dishonesty and laziness and do push in that area like with my employees, but that doesn't mean I don't like them. It just means I expect their best which they don't always give. But even when they are doing well, I have to walk on ice to mention things they forgot or wasn't done well. I don't bring them up unless they're important to me but people are so senstive these days. I don't yell or say anything insulting or degrading - I'm just direct. I don't feel comfortable with the mush preparation of 'you're doing really great work and I'm not disastisfied with it, but can I fill you in on a couple of needs I have that you may have forgotten etc.... This is pathetic. If they're that sensitive I can't bare it. I need tougher employees. I like people who will fully hear me out and then tell me their opinion without being afraid. I 'd rather have a noisy disagreement than the hidden resentment and hurt feelings I get from most of my employees. Geese, can we be direct without hurtful intentions? Why is it received as though we are evil? It's so frustrating. I chase off so many gardeners, pool sweeps, housekeepers, office workers etc just by having high standards and expecting good work. I tell them when they do good too. And if I was the employee, I would want to know what my boss really needs and wants so I could know what to do to get that raise! Wouldn't you?

I appreciate that kind of attitude. Direct, honest, but fair at the sametime. Every employer has every right to get the most out of his employees (within reason). I dont see anything wrong in that at all.

I think things woudl be run a heck of a lot better if more employers had these kinds of standards!

Good on you I say! Firm but fair.

These problems are definately from psychological causes. You can address them mate. I have but it took me a few weeks.

Look into CBT it really helps.