News you won't see in controlled mainstream media.

I'm really loosing touch with reality, can't think, read, understand anymore. I try as much as I can but it all shuts down.

So in case I didn't make it, I want to thank everybody for everything. You are all great guys.

THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're welcome, Jinx. I wish that I knew what to say but I have often been where you are now. Do you have any spiritual beliefs that give you any comfort?

I am there too my brain is also shuttin down rapidly and cant find anyone to help. I have made provisions for my youngest daughter and provisions for how I intend to leave this world as quickly and comfortably as possible. I dont know why things havnt worked for some us. Maybe its just meant to be that way. You know how much I think of you Jinx and Aaron. Youve helped me when family and friends have turned their backs. I cant pray cos I dont believe in God. I dont know where we go or if anywhere, but I go with the comfort Ive brought 3 other fantastic people into this world who have shown much love to me. I lost one of my dearest friends this year to suicide and I miss him a lot. He suffered most of his life. Maybe things are mapped out for us. I always believed I would die young. I hope you find peace Jinx, the peace we havnt had for a long time. I will be thinking of you till the end. I wish everybody else a fantastic recovery, but I join you in your saying goodbye, I can do no more. Best wishes and all the love in the world to everyone on here, as youve done your best to help me. xxxxxx Tracy

jynx , sweetheart not sure what to say the whole thing just makes me so angry im not so good myself this whole mercury thing really does destroy peoples lives and its just so sad i really hope you get through this some how tho

tracy your my dear friend and i know excactly how uv been feeling somtimes i get suicidal cause i cant bear anymore or am scared of worse to come nothin helps at all i just hope the cavitation surgery helps me or il just give up.

im thinking of you both and hope this isnt the end big hugs to both of you.

Thanks Clare you too have been a very very dear friend but Ive lost all hope of this thing ever ending and its too unbearable to live with. Ive aways considered myself a strong person but this illness is evil, and Im not tne same person anymore. To top it all Keith has really turned against me in the last few days and takes the piss out of my suffering. He really does not give a damn about me and makes it very clear. I have never felt so lonley in my life. Every day I feel like Im screaming inside my head, I dont even know how th hell I make it through the day. The other day I was in bed with horrific pain and moaning and he just lent over me and did the same then told me to shut up. I see no future or light at the end of the tunnel any more. I never knew anything so bad could exist. Its almost swallows me up. Keith has been in bed most of the day and Ive had to look after Evie, God Ive been literally gritting my teeth all day. I know she will be fine cos my eldest daughter will have her to live with her. But God why have we had to go through all of this and live this hell with a possible life cut short because of such a stupid illness. I cant even cry any more cos I feel things are coming to a rapid end and I have things to sort out. Its so hard whenyouve got kids, I had such plans and was looking forward to so much. Thankyou for being a good friend, I hope to God, even though I dont believe, that you do recover, you are so young. Bless you with all my heart. Love Tracy.

Jinx,

I wish there was something we could do. There is a cause for everything so there must be a solution. Have you tried everything?

Sometimes it's beneficial to "take a shot in the dark" and try something that seems to be unrelated and see how your body reacts. You can then get more information about the cause.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do.

Hi Jinx, I hate to hear this. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I hope that you will come back, and know that we're all here for you anytime you do pop back on (which I hope you will do).

Suggestions are so difficult when the cause or whatever else is going on is not completely known. It's insidious and horrible and why so often some of the best people? I dont know but it seems to be the way.

Take care and regrettably our suggestions did not seem of much aid to you. I still hope you can get the rest of your fillings removed sometime, somehow, but we all know how risky that is. I hope in some way you can hang in there.

Luv Bex.

Hey guys, i dont know what to say, i know what you are going through,i said goodbye to my children once, it was so painful,even now when i think about it now i get tears in my eyes. im still here though. You are my bestest friends also and i would never have come this far without you,we are in this together. I dont want you to go, its hurting me thinking about it .If someone predicted i would be this il at age 41 i would have certainly not bought children into this world,its just not fair. Someone has to pay for our loss of life and not being able to live like normal people. Love you all, Dawn.

Please forgive me for stepping on any toes here but im gong out on a limb because to many lives are at risk.

I have ben whereyou are, just over a year ago, I have recovered and so can both of you. Jinx, Tracy. I went to hell and back..ALONE but I made it and thank God I never gave up on Him, never gave up on me.

Who do you think you are to play God so to speak. You are not only playing with your own lives but the lives of all thoe that love and care for you. How will you answer those people when they ask you WHY? I am a victim of suicide, it ruined my family. That person was a coward and to me, they will ALWAYS be a coward. There is always another way out. Who will be there when your children graduate? What will your eldest daughter say on Evies weding day when she says I wish mom could've been here, why did she leave us? WHAT DID WE DO WRONG, that question will haunt them forever I promise you that, they will blame themselves for the rest of their lives.

I know what i am saying sounds harsh and heartless but you need to wake up and realise whats at stake here, its not just your life, and NO their lives will not be better without you.

Dont damn them to a life without you. You can get bettr and you will get better, im not sure why you dont believe in God but he was the only thing that pulled me through this, without the strength and courage only he could give I dont think I wouldve made it, perhaps its time to change your beliefs, perhaps for your children. Are you really going to abandon them, this world is a heartless difficult place as it is, you brought them into it and now you want to leave them to "survive" it on their own. How cruel. THEY need you, this world needs you. You will not find peace in death, not by suicide, that is a fallacy.

Please dont think I dont understand and I dont know what your going through, trust me, I DO. I am a survivor of this horrific ilness, I wanted to die, I prayed to die but I didnt. I survived and my god, when I see that African sunrise and touch the lives around me in some small way, when I am able to help my Gran and make her laugh till she cries, to watch my husband wave goodbye with the aeroplane as he takes off for a flight........

Dont be selfish. Dont give up, if youve given up on you, DONT give up on them

Hi anon, thanks for your post also. But you have to realise one thing, people with mercury suffer in different ways and everybody is different to what they go through.

Also are you aware that some on here have been suffering for 20 years or so? i.e "me"??? And that I have prayed all my life to God for help, even just to open a door or aid me in the right direction and not only did I not get better, I got worse. I have been through hell and not ended my life, but often think of doing so. Now I do not even give a rat's as* because my youth has gone anyway. I just get on here and hope that I can help others in some small way or even warn them on matters that possibly caused this to occur.
. Those that really have been there, couldn't ever call anybody a coward for ending their life because this poison does something to your mind that is basically out of this world and can CAUSE direct suicidal thoughts and spontaneous suicides are a common action of a mercury poisoned person, NOT the action of a coward.

Please do not add insult to injury, because people who have ended their lives under much pain are far from cowards and do not deserve to be called as such. You had your pain, and I am in no way belittling that at all and it's fantastic that you hung on and came through it and I commend any mercury toxic person than fought the good fight and won!! but nobody can know somebody else's pain or circumstances unless they are inside their mind. This annoys me sometimes because even some ex mercury toxic people start to make comments. " I got better, so will you". I hear this all the time and have done for years and I know this is good in one way, but it can grate on some people who have had this for donkeys years!. And yes, many DO get better and that is great. But you're pretty much generalising on everybody not even being completely aware of all circumstances or everybody's individual pain or assuming that because God enabled you to get well, this means it'll happen for all.

This did not happen in my case, though often it does in others. It's great to give hope and Jinx and Tracy are still very much in the early stages of their toxicity and of course they have hope and heck yes the healing from this alone can be hell on earth and a roller coaster ride for sure.. I've had my entire adult young life robbed, gone. I dont have a family, I have ageing parents and everybody around me is married with chidlren. Yet I've been teh one praying for this and been denied it all. Everyday is hell for me. I have no amalgams and haven't had them for many many years now.

yet of course if I dare ended my life, this would give people like you the opportunity to call me a coward I am sure. Very easy to say as such if you havent' suffered for years on end with no change and had no answers to your prayers whatsoever.

I do understand much of your post, and do take onboard the real need to give hope and get people to hang on because suicide should never be an option, but to label all suicides cowards? That is really something and someone with mercury in their brain that is fighting everyday for a life and pelted with suicidal thoughts should never be judged this way. Yes it is unthinkable to do it and horrific for those left behind and I would never wish that on anybody (had one in my family also), and in some cases, perhaps even many it could well be a selfish act, but NOT always, especially a toxic torment like mercury or otherwise. It is so hard for those with this or similar conditions to even get up eachday and not end their lives. and that is heroic. Again depends on how badly someone has it and how its afflicting them and how long for also.

Sorry if I sound bitter or cynical, and I do not mean to, but I wish ex mercury toxic people would not turn around and start giving sweeping generalising statements. One guy who suffered this poison was a mess, and I mean suicidal, the lot. People tried to help him and be there for him and luckily he got well. i think he suffered for 2 years or something and he came right. Well, once he made his health turn around, he seemed to very quickly forget how negative and suicidal he had been. Suddenly he was handing out comments like "just be positive and not so negative, I got well". So his big thing was telling mercury poisoned people it was "negative thinking" that was most of their problem. Yet it was chelation that had healed him, not positive thinking. But now that he was well, no longer under the influence so to speak, then of course he began to pretty much dish that out to others suffering. It is too easy to do it when you feel well again, even if you recall the pain, you're no longer "in" it, which changes everything (i have had patches of it).

Try 20 years of torment and no answers to prayers. You may not have such a view.

Thankyou Bex when I read that post I just couldnt believe anyoe could be so judgemental. Christ as if we havent tried and to say we're selfish well all I know is this critical person dsosent know me and has no bloody idea how hard Ive fought and what torment Im going through. How dare they speak about leaving lmy children behind. I dont believe for one moment that this person has suffered toxicijty like we have. I love my kids more than anything in this world and for this self centered bastard to come on here ands judge me who the bloody hell do they think they are. People like this should keep off the forum and keep their opinions to their selves. They obviously havent suffered anywhere near what I have, its like listening to a bloody doctor. I would love to meet this person cos they obviously know nothing or care for anyone else. Dont ever reply to my posts again you ignorant bastard,

Anon, if you have been through what you say you have then why be so hard and judgemental, you have no right!
Please dont post your comments again as they could actually make someone go over the edge, you say you believe in god, well maybe you shouldnt judge, God doesnt like that. Sounds to me you are as hard as nails, do you really know the torment that some of us have suffered, if its selfish that people commit suicide, then you dont have an ounce of understanding, Dawn.

Judge not lest he be judged. Anon you haven't a clue. Suicide is not chosen. It happens when pain exceeds the resources for coping with pain.

Wow, what a reaction

I never called any of you cowards, read it again and perhaps again until you get what I am trying to say. I am not calling you quitters or cowards, nor am i judging you for having suicidal thoughts billions of people have them evrey day. We all have. If you were leaving no one behind my post would have read alot different

When you post your GOODBYE message on a forum where everyon is rooting and praying for your recovery you can expect to get a reaction. Perhaps not the "shame, i dont know what to say, please come back, you will get well" kind of message but a message from a person who was orphaned by suicide and lives each and every single day with that pain and that torture. I would swop places wih you in a heartbeat to have my mother back and live it ten times over to speak to here one more time.

Dont read my previous post as a victim, all I ask is that you read it from your childrens perspective. Yes i was harsh and yes i hit a nerve but I wish, oh God i wish some one could have been kind enough to have told my mom what she was leaving behind.

Take the torture and torment you are going through, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever and you will still have barely a glimpse of what your children will live out. The questions, the feeling of complete abandonment, the emitional rollercoaster of hating and then pittying and then hating again. The constant question of why? what did i do wrong, maybe I could've stopped it, was it my fault.

It was not my intention to come across as judgemental and heartless and please forgive me for coming across as that just please dont hurt your children.

From a different anon:
Thank you, anon, for clarifying. I had a feeling that there was more to it than we were reading. I'm sorry for you loss. Perhaps, though it is painful to hear, you bring another prospective to the table that none of us could have brought.

Tracy...Jinx... I hurt for you that your are in such pain. I wish I had something to say that would make it better. But this rotten disease has no mercy, and we just hope that you can hang in there to see better days.

"Take the torture and torment you are going through, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever and you will still have barely a glimpse of what your children will live out."

Who are you to know the torment and torture that any of us are suffering on here? That comment is completely out of whack. Think of your worst days, and then multiply that by infinity, and then try and understand what poisons can do to a persons mind.

Thanks Anon, Thats all i was trying to do was to try and help them see it from a different perspective, I see that i shouldve been alot more gentle but suicide is such a terrifying concept to me that I went overboard. I will do and say just about anything to prevent what happened to me from happening to other innocent children out there. What I have learnt from this now is to take a deep breath and not let my emotions get involved, hard as that is, when I am faced with this again.

Dental holocaust: Who am i to know????? I HAVE BEEN THERE thats how i know, just because i have recovered it does not mean that my suffering was any less than yours. Years of psychologists, anti depressants, doctors telling me they cant find whats wrong with me, years of allergies and fatigue and pain, ruined relationships, i dont need to justify what i went through to you in order for you to know that i know what it feels like. Try losing your parent to suicide and simultaneously trying to deal with this poison, poisoning your mind. That is true HELL on earth. Recovering does not ban me from using this forum.

Well i'm actually surprised to hear you have been there, because the way you come across doesn't correlate that you know the ACTUAL extent of mental/emotional torture that drives a person to suicide, even if it's the last thing they want to do. I have massive sympathy for anyone who's taken their own life. Just because i'm here today, doesn't make me any stronger than them, it just means i may have more resources, such as understanding people around me, or even having the net, which many years ago people didn't have to help them understand why they are so suicidal. Who said you were banned from the forum? If i'm recovered i'll still be here, supporting people and not suggesting they are cowards if they take their own life.

I never not once called anybody here a coward, read properly and i was SUPPORTING the people who are not on this forum, i was trying to speak for the "other" victims of this illness that will never understand because they have never had to suffer through it, the victims that we do not know who also suffer differently with a loved one who is so ill. I was trying to save these voiceless victims the anguish of losing a loved one and AGAIN i will use my words more wisely next time. Its called a paradigm shift, trying to help someone see something from a perspective they have not before.

I KNOW that if those children could read my posts, they would thank me, because i know, that if it was them, they would say the same thing. Please dont leave us Mom, dont hurt us like this.

anon
i have 2 little girls who i love more than life its self but somtimes i feel so bad that i just cant cope anymore i dont want to die i want to see my girls grow up so much its not like id be choosing suicide cause its not what i want at all but if a person feels like there is no hope of ever getting better whats the alternative i personally would rather my daughters to remember me as a happy loving mother rather than somone whos mentally not all there my girls talk to me somtimes and because my brainfog is so bad it just doesnt register in my brain and my fatigue and pain stop me from having real fun with them and god knows i do try somtimes people just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel and sadly somtimes there isnt one.

Actually, not so long ago, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and was purty sure it was the train commin to get me.

I respect all of your opinions here. There are different views about suicide and I've been there myself.

One of my best friends has the opinion that suicide is completely selfish. I couldn't help but to feel distant from her when she expressed this opinion because it seemed to me that she didn't understand.

I wanted to explain to her that emotional pain is just like physical pain. Given enough, there comes a point where death looks like a better option. The pain is very real and the amount of pain involved makes death seem appealing. I take this type of emotional pain very seriously.

Having said that, I would strongly encourage anyone with this level of pain to get help right away. Although I understand this level of emotional pain, I also know that suicide would be the biggest regret a person can experience.

...And very importantly, I would also also encourage someone with this kind of pain to continue to seek solutions. If there is a cause, there is a solution. It's just a matter of finding it.

Here's an example that just happened a few minutes ago.

I have (another) friend that has been suffering with severe depression and other mercury-like symptoms for years now. I just received an email from her a few minutes ago that a supplement that she was taking for adrenals was causing the issue. She stopped the supplement 9 days ago (for some reason) and all of the symptoms "went away". She just wrote me to tell me that she "feels like a new person" and is now happily looking for a job.

I understand and respect people taking the "drill sergeant" approach to suicide, and I respect that because it means you care, and that's a very good and honorable thing (to care). I also understand that it's probably ineffective for most people, especially those who are in this type of state. The fact the you care is good and helpful, however.

Hi Anon, I know you were doing your best to get people to remove the idea of suicide from their thoughts and think of their loved ones. Considering this has happened to you, it is no wonder at all that you feel so strongly about it and the pain you must have felt and feel for having your own parent do this is unimaginable.

one can only express sympathy, but not empathy unless they too have had this occur. Suicide is I think probably the most horrific loss anybody could experience with a loved one. Questions never answered and the constant "if onlys" or 'what if" and the mixture of confusion, grief, anger, etc etc.

I think MOST people consider their loved ones when suicide enters their heads which is why so many are hanging on in spite of such horrific suffering. So many have lost their joy and lives because of toxicity, yet because of those around them, they are pretty much trying to exist regardless.

Problem with mercury and other similar toxicities is that it works directly on the mind to actually CAUSE suicidal thoughts. Not only does it cause suffering beyond belief, but directly causes suicidal urges and this is what makes Hal Huggins so angry about this poison and other similar ones because of what it does to a human being. Often, when in such agony and a mind that can scarsely think straight, a person can end their life. Not through selfishness, but sheer unadulterated agony. I dont know how many times I have prepared myself for suciide, only to fight against it, like I'm fighting some other entity and not really myself. It makes me sick to my gut when I consider how many times I could have done it. To think of my parents and family is another totally gut wrenching reality and what that would do to them. To be torn between pain beyond belief, yet trying to think of others is what some people cannot imagine unless they have been there.

Unfortunately some people end up buckling under the agony and do the unthinkable. Because I am still here, never makes me feel complacant or superior. If anything< i feel humble and always fearful that I am not above doing the same thing and am as human and frail as they are. If only they had been given enough, just enough peace of mind or a little bit of extra health, many of them would never have considered it, let alone done it. THEY are the victims becuase of an unrelenting, unforgiving poison that often removes the person from rational and logical thought and those left behind are also the victims of this toxicity also because of the actions it had on their loved one who would no doubt never normally, even under typical stresses of life would ever have done this.

In fact, I know people who have ended their life simply because they found a situation stressful and opted out. This cannot really be compared to direct toxins on the brain.

Just to be clear -

guys, I never meant to say through that post that I was going to commit suicide. All I'm saying is that my brain is shutting down so much that it prevents me from even basic functioning, communicating with u, actually when I was writing that post I felt like drifting away, like I was sure I was going to be in a vegetable and that i wouldn't make it on my own, that I'd end up in an institution. This thing makes you feel like you're going to be in a coma in a matter of hours, or dead, that's how it felt that day , hence the post.

so, I really don't want to say goodbye, I will try to hang on as long as I can, but this disease seems to strike in ways you can't really predict or expect. So I don't know how much longer I can fight this. This thing is progressiveley taking over of you, and you can't do anything about it. And I'm in a really bad shape, can't comprehend what you're writing here guys, have the brain of a 10yo.

still thanx for everything

here in australia, two young girls of 16 ish suicided by hanging out in the woods together, helping each other (on their myspace site on the day of their death they wrote 'let me and steph be free', and now they are, for a while as i believe in re-incarnation, it was all over the news, their story was inspiring to me, (recovery is also inspiring) that they left at a time of their choosing in their hidden pain, and i feel if i had someone to plan and encourage it with me i probably would to, if at the least know i had the comfort of acting at any chosen time. i often think of ropes and how i would hang them and making sure to get the slipknot right and focus on the self inflicted physical pain (yes ouch, some things inthe world are not made for the body to feel comfortable when used in self harm ways. to take away focus of all other things, like just the other night. benza (easy to offend people with this topic and what i've said but.. my experience is what it is) i wouldn't have dreamed of smoking a cigarette let alone saying this stuff six months ago and smoking a pack of day. is there a word... "beyondPain" it should be one word and included in the dictionary.

i am here once again because of fear of the action of suicide, if it were easy, i am not sure if i would be writing tonight, (mustered up a slight coherence amongst the valium and melatonin)

goodnight..

currently taking zeolites, msm, dmsa, NAC, and alpha lipoic acid, not noticing feeling worse than usual, ie the lowest i ever imagined before adding the protocols one by one.

the thing that holds me here is some form of hope for the future, and in a bizarre way i am not afraid to die but am instinctually all the time. this certainly the thinking from a mercury affected person. extremely outside the bounds of what i would have said 6 months ago.

i think of myself as a desensitiser, i take steps, and see what that is like, and then think futher in advance. crazy? sure. people do the best they can with what they have.

Hi Jinx. I was in the same situation as you three weeks ago. I came to the USA to say goodbye to my girlfriend. Ive come for three months. My family didnt know this of course however at last i think ive found something that helped me. I tried all the stuff you did and no luck. However i picked up something called HMD heavy metal detox. Its different because its a liquid and im actually having some luck with it. You put drops in water and drink three times a day. Look it up online. Its the reason im still in the material world. All the best
stuart

Nice to see someone else believes in the human recycling stuff.
I don't just believe in reincarnation, I know it cuz I remember my past life an how i committed suicide in it.
Laudanum, as it happens, a real slow way out.
In that lifetime when I was a young girl , I was workin with hats an it must a been the mercury drove me nuts, then I married a artist an the paint fumes wasn't good ,yup, multiple chemical sensitivities way back then. I know I had prollems eatin, social anxiety, low self esteem.. .etc. etc.
Nobody told me this stuff, it all came back to me spontaneously and in technicolor when this time around I was thinkin in a suicidal direction .Plus, I was freaked out by movin from London to this strange lil hamlet by the sea where I now have to walk by the house I used to live in 100 yrs ago ever time I go to town.( I'm used to it now).
Point is, I know I had to get to the same place a despair and do it all over in this life. I think everbody has the right to control their destiny but I don't believe there is any real escape, but the spirit world is a nice place to rest up, thats for sure, at first anaways, then it's just like back at school an real hard work time, seems like it's all about personal evolution.
Y'all prolly think I'm nuts, but I ain't. I found out it's not so uncommon for former suicides to have past life recall. Yup, I had to do a lot a research on this matter to satisfy maself and met some real interesting people with great psychic an spiritual powers.Turns out they dont think I'm nuts neither an I had some interesting confirmation a my story, too.
So, I'm just sayin I know where y'all are coming from, the souls journey is a tough one with many twists an perils an if ya can hang on an ride it out, there is much to be gained, and ya can save a lot a time an effort, but turns out there is a lot a time, when ya get cosmic awareness, anahow.
Sometimes I wished I could believe death really was the end.
Sometimes eternity just seems so dang long.
Lot a real brave people on this forum .
Kinda heartbreakin.

Anon I have read your post, and I wonder if you have childen. Mine are23, 18, and 12. I hsvre numerous converstions with sbout my condition and how muvh pain Im going through and they all understand. They all support me in any choice I make cos theyve dwitnessed the suffering. Theyve all stated that they will always love whatever I decide to do. One thing I know I have taught my children not to judge others and they dont. So dont give me this crap about Evie getting married and stuff. One thing I cant stand is judgemental people like youself and if you have children, then I thank God mine are ao differnt. What if I had any other terminal illness? i still dont belive you were ever as toxic as some of us., cos if you are the suffering is too much to bare. Dont dictate how my kids will react, sort your own bloody life out Tracy

Tracy,

Why so highly strung?
I was as toxic, the difference is that God got me through and i thank him for it every day. If he hadnt i probably woula kiled myself and would be burning in hell for all eternity. Ever read Divine revelation of hell? Perhaps you should. I dont judge people. I leave that to my Dad.

Seems i hit a nerve with you, if your children supported you ending your own life, you wouldnt be reacting the way you are, you would be at peace with it, clearly you arnt.

I have been praying for you, good luck with your recovery i mean that sincerely.

anon, Tracy is a good friend of mine and she is falling apart, she is highly strung cos thats what mercury does to you, im highly strung and everyday is a struggle to survive. Please dont mention the burning in hell stuff, it depresses me even more, you say you understand but im not so sure, you and no-one really knows what happens after Death and suicide, please tread carefully here, thanks.

Any 'god' that would sentence people to an eternity of hell is an evil bastard worthy of hatred.

Let's keep childish beliefs out of this forum, please.

Jesus loves you too Blicero!! I hope he blesses you with a life filled with love and happiness. I hope you prosper and find each day, that ounce of excitement, that whisper of a thrill that there is no sense in living your life without. May you grow to a ripe old age, look back some day and truly be able to say, I have no regrets.

God bless you X <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well Blicero, I happen to believe in God and in Heaven and Hell. Yes it is a tough thing to take onboard and believe, but as a christian I either take the bible as is, or I disregard it altogether. I can't simply take what I want and reject what doesn't suit. It is not a smorgus board. I dont push or expect others to believe, that is their choice but I pray for them (Or I should).

Anon, Hell is a deliberate and continual outcome of desire for evil, persistance in sin, deliberate ongoing rejection of God and His salvation. It is for those who love evil and hate God. A person who has ended their life, not through self murder (which has its seed in hate) but the desperate desire to end the pain itself cannot be accused of true murder. The intention behind the act is what comes from the heart, which is where we are judged. Someone who kills through self defense or accident, again cannot be accused of true murder in the same way a person who intends to kill for the sake of revenge or something else. Suicide is something we must be VERY VERY careful not to judge, only God can understand the true circumstances and the pain of that person, not you and not I. This is why it is not clearly outlined in the bible as such and even scholars argue on this point. I would not underestimate the mercy of God.

God is not limited, we are and neither is His mercy. He SAVES people from damnation. Nobody is put there, they decide to go there through their own evil actions. Suicide from pain cannot be compared with murder, because suicide is done mostly from the desire to stop terrible anguish or desire to escape. Most suicides were desperate for a life and fought for one for years. It is never done lightly.

Anyway, I dont expect others to believe what I do, but the God I believe in is not a cruel God at all. We are all given a choice and we can reject or accept.

Sorry for preaching here guys, and it's a thread that can lead to a lot of arguments because of how painful this subject is and it's very close to the edge because we're speaking of "life and death".

Well, we could ask God to kill all the people who hurt others or do evil things but we might get exactly what we asked for.

I think he wanted me to know about the problems with doctors and dentists because someday I am going to be like a mighty angel and I need to know these things as reality.

lesson learned and well, thank you. I sit here with gauze in mouth had that big old amalgam pulled earlier this afternoon.

a real shame what amalgam does to an otherwise healthy tooth, and mind.

Seems like an ok dentist this one, I drove way way out into the boondocks to visit an old country dentist. Was a good experience.

I think in the end we need to be thankful that if we are going to be judged, it is only the judgement of God that matters. This is great because only God knows everything to know about our situations.

So in short, who cares what some anonymous person on the internet thinks? I personally find this poster, too cowardly to even come up with a handle, way out of line. We can get this judgemental additude anywhere. We come to this place to get a little understanding. Maybe "anon" is just too wounded, and unable to express anything other than anger and resentment for their place in life. I feel bad in that case but projecting one's pain onto others is never excusable, even though I'm sure we are all guilty of it at some point.

i don't believe in hell, i think the only place to experience the place that i learned of amongst all the other teachings in the bible at catholic school for 11 years is only experienced here, i believe leaving the body for everyone is complete peace and bliss, its the return trip here where u experience lessons and if u did evil in the last lives, probably literally get burned all over here in some event. just my belief system, i know of the other one and do not believe god would leave souls in a place forever in pain for what was done in one lifetime out of what i believe to be many experienced.

i think karma can also be very rapidly returning, struck and be stuck, hug and be hugged. i think most chsitians would also not be bothered by someone having a 'buddhist' like belief, and if using what the bible teaches generally rather than picking out the fearful or specific parts would really not be bothered at all by a view like mine, not that they would want to accept it either if what they believe works for them, i would like to learn more myself from them.

do unto others as u would do to yourself type thinking (karma type view) is the general rule i take from the bible, and mostly ignore the rest except principles, and what is that section.. umm lessons and learnings section, principles to live by.. practical stuff.. 'one guy did this and this was the outcome this is the lesson'

perhaps they could add a 'take pharma drugs or stick mercury in your body, and your lesson will be'... section. starting to ramble.

Every part of the bible is connected to the other. For a Christian, they all come together/work together. To pick and choose is basically playing with the word of God to us. I'd not like to do that and never will. Either one takes it as it is or they leave it.

You are free to choose your way, as we all are. I think there is something we all agree on in this forum, whether we believe or not in a God, or what faith we decide to follow or trust, that I have seen kindness and goodness on here that actually helps restore some of my faith in the human race. The suffering, the reaching out, regardless of belief, we aint so different in our pain or wish to help eachother.

Lotta folks are burnin in hell right here an now.
It's a mercury symptom, too.

Amen to that Bex!!!! Finally

Hymalaia,

Wounded, hurt, cowardly, angry, resentful. Take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the stick out of someone elses. Sure you will find that in Proverbs. My life has never been better. I never in my wildest dreams thought that life could get this good after mercury poisoning, Russ was right all along. I hope you find that peace too.

Hey Elvis I don't think you are nuts at all. When I read your post I felt a chill up my spine. Not in a bad way - I have had a similar experience but have never really discussed it with many others.

I am now 35 yrs old. When I was a young kid I had an insatiable appetite for learning German and was continually thinking about what German people ate, drank, thought and how they behaved etc etc. When I took up German as a subject at high school I excelled but did poorly or mediocre in all other subjects. My first trip overseas was of course to Germany and I just loved it and was mesmerized by the whole experience.

When I was 23 years old, I went to visit a friend in Sydney and had the most amazing experience. Whilst I was chatting with her I suddenly lost her face and it seemed as if I was transported into another time and place. I felt myself walking along an unsealed road and when I looked out to the right I could see a lot of autumn trees in their crimson beauty and then I saw an old style European looking house down in the valley. I could see a woman whom I instantly recognised as my wife and there were two young adult men standing near her who I just knew were my sons. During this experience I felt so intensely relaxed (no I don't take drugs!!) and at peace with myself. The scene felt as though it had presented itself for such a long time.

Anyway, suddenly it ended and there was my friend's face again and she was chatting away to me. I told her what had happened and she said that there had been no time lapse at all and that she had only said a few sentences whilst I was apparently looking at a chunk of my past life. Very bizarre but a beautiful experience.

Since then I have had snippets of things like this happen again. They will only last for a second or two and then it fades. From what I have seen or experienced I know that I was a German \ perhaps Prussian farming man who lived to his middle years, with a loving family, strong Christian belief and a fascination for agriculture.

The interesting thing though for me is that as I said I felt that I had strong Christian beliefs in my past life yet reincarnation is taboo in Christianity. My beliefs in my present life are probably now closer to Buddhism than anything else. I told my father who is a born again Christian about my feelings of reincarnation and he said that it was satanic and rubbish. Christians can be so cruel sometimes. Could you imagine the Dalai Lama saying that kind of thing to someone !!?

Thanks anon. Lotta ineresting Christians believe in reincarnation, ones inerested in the idea a the "lost ''years a Jesus Christ say he picked up a lotta esoteric knowledge in India an talked about such things himself.
Anahow, don't care what other people think, I know what I know from ma own experience an that's what i believe in.
Lotsa Buddhists don't believe in reincarnation.
In the spiirt world it's not about Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad,Krishna, Money,
...it's Godsville
If Jesus helps ya, thank God , but lets not judge others., it don't fool anyone important.

with respect Elvis, no true believing Christian could ever consider reincarnation and claim to take Christ seriously at the sametime. Or they are denying the entire point of Jesus Christ, His life, death on the cross and resurrection, which was for EACH individual soul. man was assigned ONCE to live and ONCE to die and then judgement. It is in the bible. If one finds this unacceptable, hard to believe or a load of rubbish, they are free to disgard it.

Again, this is why Christ was so strong and made it very very clear "you are either for me or you are against me". "I am THE way, THE truth and THE life" He did not say "I am A way, A truth and A life". We are free to take Him at His word or walk away. one or the other. That is what a true Christian believes, becuase they take God at His word. If they wish to water it down, put their own twist or swing on it, it becomes invalid. For there really is no middle ground. Otherwise it becomes "smorgus board Christianity", taking a bit of this and a bit of that and throwing a bit of this in and disgarding that, and deciding really I'll take what suits and chuck out the rest. Well for any Christian (true), It's all or nothing and some of it isn't always "feel good" stuff. Did Christ lead an easy suffering free life? No. Did he waltz around in jewels extolling the luxuries of this world? No. He lead his life in simplicity, poverty and humility, only to die a wretched mess on a cross. But the hope is in the ressurection and Christ was trying to tell us that this life, no matter how hopeless and wretched and how much you suffer at the hands of another, look to my ressurection and the life to come. For nothing in this life can compare what God has prepared for those who love Him. That is the hope of a believer!

There are many faiths and they stick to what they believe, and true Christians do the same because the entire point in being a Christian is a personal God (who we believe is the person of Christ) and salvation. And trying to live a good life and imitate Christ (which many of us fail at, me included). It isn't always easy, but it wasn't meant to be easy.

But I hope everybody can respect others faith on here whether it's buddism, Christian, Catholic, or no belief, etc and hope we can get back to the original point of this thread. I apologise for getting caught up in this, but it is very difficult to remain silent sometimes when this is very close to my heart!

It's really bad, I went into a fight with my parents and slammed the door a couple of times, yelling at them, for not believing the mercury poisoning thing.

They want to put me in an institution, and so after my slamming the door and yelling they went to make arrangements about the transport.

Funny thing is, I'm going bonkers today probably because I ate a quarter of a snickers bar yesterday, that my mother suggested me to eat. Also we did go to a holistic doctor almost 2 weeks ago (an MD), who through kinesiology testing, confimred I have candida , paraistes, chemicals and heavy metals in my body.

Yet, truth is I'm really bad, completely passive, have no brain, can't even reason with all those people about my condition anymore.

THIS IS SO F****** UNFAIR!!!!

The Buddha spoke of pain and suffering and some may find what he had to say helpful. He made a distinction between the two states. He said that pain is inevitable, the body gets hurt, sick, gets old and eventually dies. Mercury toxicity brings with it its own peculiar twisted pains. Suffering though he said was something that we did or didnt do in relation to the pain. For example on person who hits his thumb with a hammer may respond angrily towards the hammer, the thumb, the pain,the world etc, Resenting maybe that it had happened, cursing themselfs for being stupid etc. So in a short space of time we have much more than just the pain in the thumb to contend with. He says that we can learn to be with our pains as they are without necessarily adding the rest. Easier said than done i know and it is something i struggle with. But i think this simple truth can be of help

Jinx, I have nearly been put in an institution also for out of control rage/behaviour, threatening violence (to my father) etc. That was all mercury!!!! (plus whta comes along with it I guess like yeast etc).

All of it affects the gut, liver, brain everything. I takes ages sometiems to read anything and even then cannot really get what I'm always reading. It's like being partly brain dead. Feelings of hate, jealousy, deadness, loss of motivation, grief, I mean the list goes on. I would get into mercury rages or fits of total despair to such a point, where I would either shut myself off completely, or I would literally go on and on to one of my parents over and over repeating the same stuff. I would say all sorts of things and then later in a calmer patch I could not really believe I had siad them or felt that way. So it really does a job on you and puppets a lot of how you feel, think and see life.

I'm glad that there has been some test that has indeed shown you do have metals, yeast, parasites etc. No surprise there. I dont know Jinx, I hope they can help you. and YES, you feel bad enough but it seems one small indiscretion on diet makes it even worse, even when you think it can't get worse.

No it isn't fair. I cannot even eat a piece of fruit, or any grain at all. In fact old world grass grains, which is wheat, rye, barley, rice, oats can be extremely bad for people and the fruit that goes along with the OWGG is apple and pear. So I have to exclude all them now. But going through any kind of work up (die off) is hard and at times i dont know if it's working anymore. I had some rice the other day and an apple and if I'm not mistaken, things have gotten much worse again.

You may want to try the same thing, or you may already be doing that from the candida diet anyway.

hi Jinx
My mom tried to send me to a psychological treatment center this summer. I told her that i didn't think i could go because i can't stay awake for more then 2 hours. This was before i knew i had mercury poisening. I was thinking of going because i thought maybe "it was all in my head". Now i know better..i am trully sick from poisoning inflicted on me as a child. It took sending my mom by email many articles and the smoking gun video to get her to listen to me about the mercury poisoning. I'm researching online and getting ready to get the biggest class action lawsuit in America together. So i'm studying and gathering facts. To prove mercury filling toxicity present the scientific evidence. Lots of it. You'll soon start to win them over. My mom slowly came about and now she believes..but doesn't seem that interested in discussing the subject in depth. I'm making all these revelations on why things happened to me in the past and realizing it was mercury poisoning. Finally my mom mentioned that she can't wear jewelry because she gets electric shocks from her gold jewelry and gets raw skin from her wedding band. Now she's starting to realize how her filling was also electricuting her body. She had them romoved 15 years ago..and i'm trying to explain to her that she needs to go to a specialist to make sure all the mercury is out. I don't believe it is. I'm trying to convince her that the second part is chelating. It's hard to get people to believe something so severe is happening in a our country. It's so 3rd world almost..like we are living in the dark ages.
I hope your parents come along.
To the person who said they need to say goodbye. Are you still with us? I hope so..and i was wondering if there was anything you can take to lesson the pain. I read that some psychological drugs will help with the pain while you are removing mercury. I take cymbolta..without it..i can't function. I also read Provigil is good. I take it occasionally. It is used as a energizer pill. Sometimes the drug makes you feel euphoric..sometimes it doesnt effect me. Maybe there is a doctor who specializes in amalgam fillings that can provide more details on pain meds to help counteract the pain from mercury poisoning.
Let us know you are ok!

Well said, Bex. As a Christian I have really struggled with my faith in light of my suicidal thoughts. I don't want to have to resort to that but on the other hand I don't believe that suicide is an unforgivable sin.

I've also dealt with the anger and fits of rage and I know that those feelings are caused by my broken, intoxicated brain but I still feel guilty because I can't control my emotions.

Personally I believe that the only unforgivable sin is to reject Jesus Christ as your lord and savior.

Hi

I grew up in a christian home and believed for mny years until I got sick, for so long I just couldnt bring myself to pray or even think about God, He just seemed so far away, i struggled daily with the anger and rage as well and the guilt of being so distant from God and the confusion of just not understanding what had happened to draw me away after we were so close and why i so desperately wanted to end the life that he had given me.

Right now having recovered, I feel closer to HIm and more spiritual then I ever have in mylife, I am so spiritually happy and at peace with everything around me. I cant believe how this poison draws you away and kills your faith

Dont give up, He will always be there no matter how far away He feels and no matter what your thoughts are right now, He knows its not whats on your heart. He will never leave you nor forsake you. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

That is true. It seems ironic and tragic that this poison gives you such a feeling of deadness towards God, or any spiritual feelings at all.

Sometimes it's all people can do is to get up and actually exist each day. I have no feelings really. It is awful to feel "nothing" almost. Sometimes I can look at members of my family, but I dont tend to feel love, yet I know I must love them. I dont quite understand that and it makes you feel very cold as a human being.

I wish I could "feel". Unfortunatey though I feel grief, depression and anger, but not well being, sense of feeling alive, love, joy etc. It's incredible what this toxin is capable of doing.