For a very brief period I was acquainted with a wall street stock broker who partook of peyote for spiritual purposes. The synopsis of the event he told me sounded very very surreal also. Talking to his his dead grandparents etc etc etc...

But anyway.. just as a note, in all of the wierd stuff I did seeking God because of books I read, people I met with other spiritual beliefs, it's important to note that I was actually seeking God with my rather askew worldly knowledge and lots of other weird stuff simply happened along the way. I wanted to know if the God I had learned about as a child in sunday school, was the real one and only God.

And it seems, no matter where i went what i did this force with a voice and power kept showing up in some form or another to stop me from going certain directions, with the grand events I described above pretty much as a climax thus far. At the point that that happened I knew God existed, had had no doubt whatsoever since the age of 17-18, but I was wary of Jesus, did not feel I knew him, and I needed to find God and ask him and get a direct answer. I felt a very deep burning need to do that and I guess I did get my answer. I sincerely felt I was headed to hell and I needed him.

Maybe it because he is my God as you say, but I have more than just a funny feeling he is the God of all gods, and all living things, our creator God. I know for sure he is the God of the bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. It took years, a few, for me to truly trust him but he has kept me and led me and sheltered me from harm for so long now that I would be seriously foolish to doubt him. I worry about very little these days... if trouble is coming he lets us know... if we need money it arrives. We have never been hungry, we have never been homeless. Things go pretty well. We live humbly pretty much middle class, life is good.

I look back at all of the strange beliefs I held about God and life in general till the day Jesus showed up bigtime in my life, and I truly think I was half insane, a good portion of that from my education and the rest from beliefs instilled in me growing up in a superstitious american catholic family. Knowing Jesus has given my life clarity and direction, even in an eternal sense. There is nothing more humbling yet uplifting to know that there truly is a mighty God who cares about me, and is watching out for me and my loved ones. In our personal lives, to love one another, to be good to our neighbors, to care about each other is of utmost importance.

Wars may happen, floods may come but there is a reason for all of it that only God knows. I would never question him concerning those things because I trust him, I went through much those first few years but we had to go there to get here, I am well aware of that now. Sometimes he has to knock down what we have built in order to rebuild things according to his plan for our lives, which btw, is always the best plan and most of us would never conceive it on our own given our own devices and askew worldy knowledge in a world that he knows much better than us.