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Aaron,

The loneliness I suffered from was so severe that I tried killing myself as a teen one time, but someone intervened. I lived with loneliness all of my life and it was very difficult to believe that going on with the next day was worth it.

I had suidical thoughts from my early teen years all the way through 2000, when my fillings were removed. After the removal, the lonliness went away as well as the suicidal thoughts.

I firmly believe that mercury has always been at the heart of my depression and suicidal thoughts. I was also extremely shy, had very low self esteem, and was very socially withdrawn. Again, I blame this 100% on mercuy because these issues have magically disappeared since the amalgam removal.

Fact is, mercury has stolen most of my life.

I believe that I'm single today, not because I didn't have several great relationships in which I could easily have gotten married. The problem is that I was too afraid of commitment. My loss, and I blame it completely on mercury because since my amalgam removal, I am no longer afraid of commitment. In fact, most of my myriad of fears I had while the fillings were in are now gone. I blame mercury for causing me to reach 41 years of age, single, and just now being able to start "living".

If I was a doctor, considering what you're going through, I would NOT have you on any strong form of chelation at all. Being this sick is just your body telling you that something is wrong, probably that you have high blood-mercury levels.

This is why I believe in slow and gentle detox.

You have to make your own decisions and I don't give medical advice because I'm not a doctor and don't wish to be, but if I were you, I'd stop chelation completely and begin with nothing more than a good diet and daily Algin and lots of vitamin C. I would do this for 30 days and then see how I was feeling. I would also keep a journal and rate how you feel daily and see if there are patterns to your emotional state.

It seems obvious to me that mercury mobilized by the chelation is causing your problems.

Anyway, these are your choices and I hope you take some action. It seems like a simple soution. If you keep doing the same thing, I would expect you will continue to get the same result, so I really hope you stop the chelation.

If you feel suicidal, by all means, call someone and get help. Suicide is NOT the answer, and the emotions you feel are likely nothing more than the mercury affecting you. Mercury does that.

You asked if all this works, why should you go on living.

I would say for the same reason I'm glad I went on living. It's worth it, once you get the mercury under control, which I believe you CAN do. You simply have to make some decisions.

You are in the unique position to help the millions of people who are suffering from the same issues you are. You can relate to them. They can respect you because "you've been there".

If you give up, you could be a discouragement to those people. If you push on and eventually get better—which you can do—you will be an inspiration and an encouragement to these people. You will likely save some of their lives by being an encouragement that they can respect.

It feels good to help people. The best compliment I ever got was at a convention a couple years ago. A person came up to me and said, "I know 1, maybe 2 people who are alive today because of your book." That feels good. If I had comitted suicide, I would have missed out on this great opportunity to affect peoples lives. You can experience the same great reward, especially because you've suffered so much. You will be listened to and respected.

As far as what you said about being too late to marry and have a family; perhaps so, perhaps not. Either way, you can have an affect on this world and you CAN have relationships. There are many out there who feel the same way you do and yet, happiness is just a few steps away.

So, I personally I hope you stop the chelation and take only algin and vitamin c for a month and see what happens. I bet you'll be feeling a whole lot better about life then and you'll be glad you kept going. it's very worth it.