Hang in there Aaron. I know what you're going through. I get suicidal thoughts a lot. Not of actually killing myself, of just not wanting to live anymore. But I realised something lately that I do want to live, I just don't want to live like this. I hate being a prisoner of my mind so much and feeling so alone and lonely, and thinking it's not going to change because nothing in life ever seems to go right or anything good happen to me. But then I think of all the people in the world who have less hope or in worse situations, for whatever reason, and no chance of recovery. I try not to feel sad or sorry for myself, but some days I just feel so tired of fighting and being so alone. Seems like I have been fighting against something all my life. But we have to fight these feelings because there is no answer in giving up. It won't achieve anything and just hurt our families and friends who need us to fight, even if they don't believe we have anything to fight.